Not much to report

Master and I are sitting here waiting to be dispatched on our next load. He sent His *FM two messages telling them He was ready but they haven’t done anything yet. Ever since we got back from our week off, things seem… off. I don’t know how to describe it. Master’s FM isn’t doing His job as well as He use to. They are even slower getting back to Master. Before that dreadful week, He would get an answer right away and not have to wait almost an hour sometimes longer. I don’t know maybe it’s my imagination. I highly doubt it, but it’s possible. After all anything is possible. Master of course thinks I’m crazy about this. But He thought that about Dorris to. Our last FM, who was in fact trying to screw Master over at every opportunity. It took Him over five almost six months to finally see it. But at least He got it…

While are waiting I was catching up on some blogs that I read. My life has been über hectic lately so I haven’t had much time to write blogs much less read any. I was really shocked to read that a slave decided to “reject slavery” as she put it. She told her Master she didn’t want to be a slave anymore and her wish was granted. I use to think that she was happy in her position and was reveling in it. But it turns out it was quite the opposite. It was to stressful for her. And it is very stressful. I’m kind of glad she felt that way, it lets me know that I’m not the only one that is stressed out by this lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not glad she was stressed, just that I am not alone in those feelings. I was hopping T/they would have been one of those M/s couples to actually make it in this lifestyle. But if it isn’t in her heart or soul to be a slave anymore, I don’t think she should force herself to be one. Especially if it isn’t her true being.

Even though my life is pretty hectic, there isn’t really anything new to report. We are still driving this infernal truck. I am becoming even less inclined to like this business. Or the fact that Master is letting it rule His life and by extension… mine. I knew becoming a business owner would be stressful for Him. But I didn’t know that He was going to let it interfere with His family, happiness and our relationship! I basically eat, sleep and shit this business. My diet is suffering to the point that not only am I not loosing weight but I am gaining weight instead. I have to hurry to get food, go to the bathroom, and shower. All because they are in public places. I can’t take an hour or longer in a shower because there is always a line waiting for them. I get food when Master is getting gas to cut down the time we spend out of the truck so we can drive further. It’s just so asinine. I am sick of hurrying. When we sit down in a restaurant for an actual meal, I don’t know how to act. I always have to eat quickly so I can hand Master His food/drink while He is driving. So when I don’t have to hurry I still end up doing it. I never know what town/city we are going to sleep in because we are never in the same place longer then a day. It’s get up, go use the restroom, get food and drive… For 10 hours straight. No breaks in between unless you count running in to get more food or to use an actual toilet a break. I don’t! I haven’t seen MY family in almost a year. Every time I call my mother brings that up. I feel more and more guilty for that every time. What am I suppose to tell her? “Until we have cash in the bank, I can’t come see you..” or ” Sorry Mom, the business is more important than you right now…” Sure I will get right on that death train!!

Master and I have been off for a while now. Little itty-bitty things will set us off in an argument. Last night it was food proportions for crying out loud! All because I showed concern for how much food they would give Master and if He would still be hungry I got the reply… “That’s all you do. Bitch, Bitch, Bitch…” At that point in our fights/tantrums/pissing contests I don’t give a rats ass anymore. After comments like that I go quite. I shut down and go numb. What else am I suppose to do? Especially when the only thing I want to do is slap Him square in the back of His head or throw my collar at Him. But I know a couple of people who would just LOVE to have that happen.

I have to find a load that can’t wait 10 minutes. So I will have to come back and edit this post.. See what I mean when I say the business is my life?! I can’t have 20 minutes to myself to write a blog!!

*FM- Fleet Manager

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