Another day on the road

I am having a hard time coming up with post titles. That would probably be because nothing changes in my life. I created this blog in hopes I would be able to talk about the more kinky side of my relationship with Master, but all I seem to do is write about the more vanilla aspect. Why? Because, that is the part of my life that is the most predominate right now. There was an opportunity of a scene a few days ago as you know, but like so many before it fell through the cracks. At some point I must have gotten sick of writing about the same old crud. This blog is becoming more a sound box for my disappointments, resignations and frustrations. I never intended for that to happen so I apologize. But until something changes I can only write about what is happening… Kinky or vanilla.

Ever since I installed the Age of Empires game, Master has been completely obsessed. Every time he has a cig while we are stopped he has to play. He always says “Only for a few minutes…” but it turns into 10 to 20 minutes before I can pry him from it. God forbid we actually had to do something important instead of watching a movie. We would never make it on time. His addictive personality is really a mood-killer. First it was that was taking him away from our time together. Now it’s this. Only this time it is affecting our sleeping patterns. He has been staying up until 2:30-3:00AM. The funny thing is he says “…For a little while.” Ha! Little while my ass. I have actually started to miss falling asleep with his arm around me. It’s getting rather sad. I had to ask him last night what I would have to do to get him to sleep with me. Dress up like a giant computer? Or better yet a little builder person from the game? All he said was don’t act like that. Uh, what pray tell am I suppose to act like? Anyone have the answer.. Because, I don’t. He blames it on stress. He never can sleep when he is stressed out. I am leading towards that just being an excuse. Just a crutch. He has been stressed before, but never… NEVER has he not slept until that game. Don’t feed me some lame excuse that a bimbo would believe. It’s insulting.

I get that he is stressed believe me I do. I’m stressed out to. I am the most sympathetic and understanding person you will meet. I have looked at all the possibilities when it comes to this new job and move. There is no bad that I can see. So I don’t get why Master is “having a hard time sleeping”. I just don’t get that part. How is it that stress is keeping you up this time, but not the whole time we were in the hole trying to make this business work? He slept like a baby unless we were fighting or his kids were causing hell. But nothing directly from the business. Only it happens now. Why? Why now when everything is pointing towards success. The benefits outweigh the losses. They are all well-rounded numbers. There is proof of them in W’s monthly settlements. They are living happily and don’t look the least bit stressed. They are my guides into the future. They should be Masters too. He is letting his irrational fears cloud his logic.

I’m really hoping that Master can get past all of this and soon. We have until the 9th to deliver this load in Dallas, which is our last load with his company. I don’t want to sleep alone in a big bed. Plus I am kind of thinking about talking with Master and starting a new tradition for His birthdays. We will have to talk about it because it will involve a lot of pain on my part. 🙂 But I think it is well worth all of that. Only glitch in the plan is Master’s birthday is the 12th of this month. I can’t really do anything for his belly button day but this. If he allows me to do it.
It will be the first kinky thing to write about in a month. So my fingers are crossed. I think I’ll bring it up either today or tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

It’s getting dark and Master is driving so I must stop writing.
Till next time folks!

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