Collar vs. Punishment

… I got my collar back after I was told to vacate the corner this morning. I’ve been waiting to write this in hopes I would feel differently about all of this with it back. But its still heavy with expectations and a since of impending failure. I doubt that’s how I’m suppose to feel about it, I should be grateful. I just have a fear of things going back to “normal”… I know I’m not the best slave, hell I’m worse then mediocre. At least I’m still trying, that ought to count for something.

Apparently walking away when extremely angry and hurt instead of snapping a snide comment is a punishable offense. I just can’t win. Sometimes all I want is to break even, winning isn’t necessary anymore. I don’t know how I’m to be punished or even when. Or if it will happen for that matter. If it does I’m sure I will write about it afterwards.

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