In case your wondering…

*Due to the fact Master’s old computer is no longer with us and the phone issues I can’t post when I want to. I have been reduced to posting on a Hotel computer whenever we get to one. Right now I’m writing them in my journal so I have them ready on home time*

I know its been a while since I last wrote. I am finding it difficult to find the time I need to do it properly. Its one thing I’m working on fixing. Even if it is a slow process.

Things have been pretty good with Master and I. Of course there is still issues. They’re just taking a vacation the last couple of weeks. I’m very happy to say we are still trudging along the S/m path. It didn’t go away like I feared, and still fear about; but in actuality it got better. He’s taking whats His. He isn’t holding back like He use to at one point. He’s testing boundaries and eliminating some. The problem is now more on my door step than His. Unfortunately, now I’m the one hesitating and rebelling. I know why to…

… I’m afraid. I don’t want to find that this isn’t what I really want or He isn’t doing it how I’ve pictured. His picture is probably great. It could very well be everything I want and need! But in order for that to happen I have to jump head first and home He will catch me. I’m afraid I built up the real thing into something unattainable. What if I have? What will happen if all my fears come true? Or… It could be everything I’ve ever wished for. He could take the perfect amount of control with the right amount of activities. I hate not knowing! I have to figure out what to do.

We’ve got Masters angel her Christmas pressies. She is one spoiled kid! At 11 yrs old she is getting an Ipod touch with camera. Plus a docking system that lights up in a bunch of colors and a $25 gift card!! Top that Santa! Muahahaha!

Oh, so the deal with the phone is seriously f*cked up! That rat of a man who sold us the phone said we could downgrade at any Verizon store within 90 days. Free of charge.. What a good deal, Right?? It should have alerted us right away. Phone companies are never that easy. The truth of the matter?! We had 30 days to get back to that store to downgrade… WTF!?! So we are stuck with the smart phone we have (that isn’t very smart btw) plus our HUGE bill of $135 a month for one, count them, one line. The only way to lower that was to switch the unlimited web plan to now limited for only $15 less.. Thus why no posts! Aarrgh!!

*Pulls at my hair!!*

A good note please! Well, we are paid up and a head by a month! Yay? Better? Ok, hmmm….

..Oh, I got two new toys! 🙂 Well one for my pleasure and then one weapon of mass destruction for Master. I got a vibrating egg with two heads and a 25″ cord. Only negative is its pink.. (Shh! No laughing!) The other is a leather paddle with two flaps. Apparently for maximum sting! And man does it sting! After much waiting and huffing (on my part) Master finally let me try them out. I have pweety bruises on my boobies! *Squeals with delight*

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