Turn off switches

I’m going to do another journal prompt. Let’s see what it randomly kicks up…

“When you’re in a submissive state, are there things that specifically turn you off?”- part one

Hmmm. Another goodie. I’m going to break it into two parts since it’s actually two questions.

There are actually a couple of things that will get me out of a slave mindset. The most affective one that Master does is direct His anger or disappointment at me. In other words when He snaps for (to me) no reason. It puts me on the defensive very quickly and my submission will change to rebellion. It’s why I, intentionally, *cough* snap back. Deep down I know snapping back won’t solve a dang thing, but in that split second I just don’t care.

The second thing (or in case people) that gets me out of my slave mindset, is my family. Every time I talk to my mother she mentions things that cut to the bone. So the emotional and mental scars Master is in the process of helping me mend, break open and start to ooze. When this happens I revert to my old pre-Master ways and crawl into my safe place inside my head. It’s why I don’t call much anymore. And she just cant figure out why. Hmmmm.

“When you are feeling particularly submissive, are there things that will put you straight back into neutral?”- part two

So far I have only found one thing that successfully does this. That would be rejection in the purest form. I know Master doesn’t know exactly what rejection, especially His, does to me. (well He does now! *evil glare*) When He says He’s to tired or frustrated or stressed to give me even the most simple and basic of spankings, it hurts. It feels like He is not just rejecting me, but my gift of submission as well. So my instincts shut that part of myself down. Not just that day, but days even weeks afterwords!

I don’t ask for much. My requests are simple. So when I beg, why must I still be rejected? I don’t really know that one.

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