Another reason to dislike trucking…

Today has been a short day. We stopped driving at 2:30pm. Usually its the full 11hours that we drive so its great and rare that it happened. It gave me time to clean the truck after dinner.

I have been in a funk for months cleaning the rig. I stopped caring if it was clean or dirty. So naturally it got filthy! Still, I didn’t care. I just got so fed up with this while business. The constantly moving, no friends or comforts of home. Everything about this! Now that getting off the truck is in my near future I hate it for another reason…

Its going to keep Master away from me. We are going from 24/7, always together to just weekend visits. I’m not good at long distance relationships (LDR). The only reason I’m tolerating this is because its Him. I love Him and need Him in my life more than my need for constant companionship and reminders. I just don’t know how I’m going to get through the week(s) without Him!

This whole thing makes me want to do everything possible now. Stop worrying about the little things. Allow myself to submit fully to Him. Just thinking about this makes me want to cry! I don’t want to miss all the opportunities or possibilities because of fear or stubbornness. I want to show Him He can trust me to keep to the rules by following them here. I don’t want Him to think I will disobey His orders just because He isn’t there. That would be awful and I want to make Him proud not disappointed. I don’t think I could live that down.

Btw.. The curse showed up a bit today. Tomorrow will be full force! UGH! Horrid timing 😦

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