Conforming to kink expectations?

Master has been reading the book Helter Skelter. Its all He can talk about. I just don’t understand the fasination. He says its because He wonders how a 5’2″ man like Manson can brainwash someone so successfuly so they will murder for him. The mental mind fuck that is involved is what triggers it, I guess. I would much rather He like less cruel or vishious things but I can’t do anything about it. On the same tokin I think He wishes I would be more interested in that and the Kennedy Assasination…. But alas I’m not.

I was reading Sephis blog and it seems everyone is writing about secrecy and why its a necessary evil. I was in the process of commenting on it when it turned into a post in my head.

In the business Master works in, we are alloted some semblance of free reign. Some freedom in our actions and how we go about our lives. Most of the day its just Master and I around people we hardly (if ever) see. So He could grab my neck as He forcefully kisses me and can smack my ass as I go by.

The only times I have to control my slave tendancies are when we are around family and in the main work area i.e. turminals. Since we have such freedom in our life to be exactly who we are it makes going back to secrecy that much harder each time.

I always fantasize about what it would be like if our way of life (S/m) was widely accepted in the Open. How would I feel if I could walk around in public with my leash attached to my collar? Would I write my true feelings on facebook (the family friendly account) if it wasn’t so taboo?

I’m not so sure I would walk around in Latex in public or wear my leash to the grocery store, even if the general society was ok with my choice instead of repulsed… Somethings should still be private or done in the confines of ones own home, in my oppinion.

I guess I’m more lucky than those that have to hide everything about their dynamic. Master doesn’t need to ask me to get His pepsi refill or to stay by Him and stay quiet for the first part of the conversation until He signals the ok for me to talk. Its just expected and done no matter where we are.

Does that mae us “out”? Just because we are more comfortable in our skin than others… Does it make me an outcast because I actually enjoy some of the secrecy? Because, I refuse to wear fettish clothing anywhere other than home, play parties or clubs…

If so than I guess I’m the black sheep of the community, nothing new there. I won’t be pushed to do things more publically because of the views of others… Because, they want this lifestyle to be more public.

That isn’t a part of who I am!

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