Eager Acceptance

I’m taking a break from writing The Academy. I normally don’t like to do that but there is a lot happening that is making me preoccupied.

We are moving into the apartment in less than a week. As for those of you who are friends on FB know, I am a mixed bag of nerves. It varies from day to day and hour to hour sometimes. I am excited to get off the truck! The first 6 months were fun but the year and a half after that was a bit brutal.

It was a great learning tool though. When two people are thrust together (not in a dirty way! Get your heads out of the gutter!) in a limited enviroment, they either mesh together or crumble. We not only meshed but thrived! At times it was a little rough and bumpy but no relationship is perfect. We are far from perfection but we are perfect for one another. There is no I or Me anymore, instead its We or Us.

People, couples especially, have no real concept of 24/7 until they live in a truck. I have no outside job or schooling to go to. Entertainment is done together, i.e movies. In the beginning we even showered together. Except for the bathroom we are hardly apart. Where He goes, I go. It can be suffocating or solidifying depending how you look at it. I like to think it helped make Us as strong as we are! For that, I will be forever grateful for this experience.

Now its time for the next stage in our relationship. Taking this leap of faith scares me to death and excites me. We have mastered living together in a really small space. Its become our normal and its safe. It’s not the experience or even the responsibility that frightens… Just that, we finally have us down pat and I’m afraid we will have to relearn us. I know that’s silly but there you have it.

Then you add being away from Master 2-3 weeks a month while He works and I’m a basket case!

I am doing things eagerly that I would normally grimace at just to have that feel of ownership and control. I don’t complain (as much) about the chores like laundry and making the bed. I still don’t like it but I am more than willing to do it. Anything I can do to help carry the dynamic we have now, I will do!

For instance, last night I gave Master a foot rub. I abhor feet! But I did it to show my appreciation to Him. No ulterior motive or selfish thoughts. Just me on my knees serving up one hell of a foot rub to Him!

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