Posts Tagged ‘ love ’

The Switch

Its 7am and I just woke up. Master went inside so I have a few minutes to write.

Usually when I wake up I’m a little groggy until my brain wakes up. But today it’s up and running in high gear analyzing last night. Master gave me a very good thrashing. That evil leather paddle was used everywhere. My back, butt, legs, arms and breasts. I’m sore in places I forgot I had. It was mentally exhausting in the sense my mind wouldn’t turn off! I kept thinking if that was what I really needed or was I doing it for some sick gratification. It made the pain hard to bear. I was crying with snot rolling down my face. Until He did my back. I guess that was the switch that shut off my raging thoughts. The pain didn’t change only… shifted from unbearable to enjoyable. I stopped crying and spaced. I was floating on the current of pain and every thing clicked! Yes, it was what I needed. I was ensconced in my place and who I am. Of course I get a warped gratification out of it. I’m a pain slut after all! No, HIS pain slut. 🙂

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Love

“Is it possible to be in a D/s relationship without love?”

I am in no way an expert on love, relationships or slavery! Some people go out into the world looking for a casual fling while others search for their one Master. Then there are those that wish to only play but end up finding The One.

Personally I think there should be a certain amount of love to be in any relationship much less a D/s one. What I do with my Master is a very intimate process. It’s not just about the great sex or even some of the scenes. It’s a sensual experience to be opened up by someone.

Imagine being laid bare for Him/Her to see. The basis of who you are easily read, tweaked and rearranged. No where to hide. You have to trust He/She knows what you can or can’t handle. Trusting Him/Her to keep you safe mentally and physically!

Could you do that with someone you didn’t love and who didn’t love you?

I could never do that. With out that love (for me) there is no trust. How could I know some guy had my best intentions in mind while toying with me? I can’t.

I know my Master loves me. He knows my Hard Limits. I’ve told Him more about my past than anyone alive! It’s what keeps me here and wanting to experience more. To give more!

Is a D/s relationship possible without love? Yeah, anything is possible. Can it be done? If your strong enough, yes.

Should it be done? In my opinion, No. Its to much of a gamble to me.

Who knows, you might get lucky.

…. Or not.

Reconnecting on Christmas

Yesterday wasn’t a conventional Christmas even to those into kink. There was no tree or flashy lights. No caroling or festivities. It was just a Master and His slut enjoying each others company. There was a lot of laughing and talking. In light of the New Year I kept asking a lot of hard questions designed to get into His head! I want the New Year to be even better than this year. I don’t want our relationship to grow stale; Instead I want to constantly expand and grow in ways we thought were impossible.

One of our conversations was about that. How to improve, what we want for us out of the life we lead. I think we came to the perfect middle ground. Well, realized what our goal was. One of many anyway.

In our opinion, no one can be completely “on” all the time. Yes, you are always a submissive or slave. However you can’t act docile or subservient all day every day. You have to sleep, shower, eat and so on. With us we joke around and start tickle was a lot. And I do mean a lot! It takes the pressures of the day away from our dynamic so when we are “on” there is no outside interference. Just us, in the moment reveling in the power exchange that takes us places wonderful and unknown.

Yesterday was the perfect example of that. We joked around but at the end of the day when it was time to get serious, we were who the “title” describes.

We had our first scene/play time in weeks last night. It was simple in design but oh so wonderful! The sensations were intense. I finally felt centered. My mind (if done right) will go blank during the onslaught of sensations. I forgot my safe word twice last night. I didn’t answer a question properly and was goaded until I did. It was perfect! The only grr! moment was when He stopped because of my tears. Even though in hindsight that was exactly the right thing to do.

The experience made me feel reconnected with my submission. It brought me closer to Master. And showed me He loves me still. Maybe more than He did when we met. I know I feel more strongly for Him now than I ever thought possible when we met!