Posts Tagged ‘ mind numbing ’

Not so uneventful

Last night was a train wreck! We pulled into Big Springs Texas with 800 miles left out of 1600 mile trip. It was to deliver at 7am tomorrow. We weren’t going to be able to get there on time. apparently we had a “High value load” that couldn’t be late. So it was taken off Master and put on someone else (repowered) at 2am! Not only did we not know when but they didn’t even tell Him who would show. He had a big ole goose egg!

You have no idea how much trouble Master would be in if that guy decided to take it and run. That is a federal crime. With no mention of a repower on Master’s qualcomm He would be the fall guy. If its not on the qualcomm, it didn’t happen.

Shitty right?!

The load we got as a replacement made up for the lost miles plus some. It was supposed to pick up at 6pm today. Well its 9:26pm now and we still don’t have the pick up number and trailer number. With out those we have no load.

So today has been a very long and uneventful day. Pretty boring actually. I would normally ask Master to spank me or put me in my floaty space but I don’t feel like opening that door right now. I’m to neutral to get worked up. I just can’t deal with the negative emotions right now.

I found something out today. Quite by accident to. I was sitting on the floor of the shower, shaving my legs. Actually taking my time, drawing the blades over flesh. Up, down, Up and back down. It drowns out every emotion, every thought. Only thing that mattered was removing the pesky growth.

The frustration and pain of my Master not trusting me to navigate evaporated. The anger at my struggles as a slave disintegrated. I was left in peace. This is the second time it happened. I can cope on my own without pain. You have no idea what a relief that is! I don’t have to wait a month or two for pain to feel normal and peaceful! I just have to wait a day or two now.

So maybe today wasn’t as uneventful as I thought. 🙂

Ps: sorry about the lack of posts this week. Its been pretty hectic and emotional!