Posts Tagged ‘ relationships ’

Love

“Is it possible to be in a D/s relationship without love?”

I am in no way an expert on love, relationships or slavery! Some people go out into the world looking for a casual fling while others search for their one Master. Then there are those that wish to only play but end up finding The One.

Personally I think there should be a certainĀ amount of love to be in any relationship much less a D/s one. What I do with my Master is a very intimate process. It’s notĀ just about the great sex or even some of the scenes. It’s a sensual experience to be opened up by someone.

Imagine being laid bare for Him/Her to see. The basis of who you are easily read, tweaked and rearranged. No where to hide. You have to trust He/She knows what you can or can’t handle. Trusting Him/Her to keep you safe mentally and physically!

Could you do that with someone you didn’t love and who didn’t love you?

I could never do that. With out that love (for me) there is no trust. How could I know some guy had my best intentions in mind while toying with me? I can’t.

I know my Master loves me. He knows my Hard Limits. I’ve told Him more about my past than anyone alive! It’s what keeps me here and wanting to experience more. To give more!

Is a D/s relationship possible without love? Yeah, anything is possible. Can it be done? If your strong enough, yes.

Should it be done? In my opinion, No. Its to much of a gamble to me.

Who knows, you might get lucky.

…. Or not.

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Difficult feelings arise

So far today has been quite horrid. Heck, this whole week sucked. For one, we were stuck in a hotel for most of it. The people were nice but we were constantly arguing. Ever since The Bitch did her “class act” we have traveled away from each other mentally and emotionally. I know He feels it or He wouldn’t ask if I loved Him more than usual. We were going forwards at a decent rate. Now however we are going backwards at an ever greater speed!

I feel like my favorite appendage was ripped off. And metaphorically it has. By some crazy circumstance she has (The Bitch) influenced the destruction of my submission and His Dominance! Our relationship has been thrown back on the back burner along with all the S/m, discipline (all bet non-existent) and play time. I figured this would happen eventually but not now, so soon after achieving the level we were suppose to be at a year ago. I knew when angel came home our dynamic would disappear or lessen. I wasn’t prepared for it to be so soon.

I wasn’t ready mentally/emotionally for the rip that caused in our unit. Or the feeling of disappointment, abandonment, and being let go in a sense. I don’t feel centered or attached to my budding submission. With out constant reminders, whether their hints or full-blown demands, I start to question my place. I get emotionally distant from Master without the full force of His control. I need things I was just starting to get and others I’m afraid to ask for.

At times like this I wish He was “The Other guy”. The one He hides away. When things go bad He inverts into Himself. He gets quiet and distant. So the polar opposite of myself. When outside issues conspire against me I need to vent my frustration through pain and strenuous activities. When things fall apart outside us (like now) I need one constant. I need us to not only stay the same but get even more intense!

I just don’t know if that’s possible with Him..