Posts Tagged ‘ resolutions ’

Resolutions

Welcome to the New Year! Most people are lamenting on the past year. To me this wonderful day means last year is done. Now I must take all the good and bad memories into the future to shape this new and wonderful year! So in light of all of this, I am going to do my new year resolutions here, in my blog.

I tend to do a lot of things differently. To me you have to do your resolutions just so or you will fail. You have to be specific. You can’t just say you want to loose weight. It’s not specific enough and in my experience you’ll fail…

Instead, How much weight do you want to loose? Are you going to exercise, eat right or both? When are you going to put the exercise into your routine?

All of these are contributing factors that will lead to success if done right! So here they are Ladies and Gents!

  1. Once off the truck, I am going to (for starters) insert 20 push ups, 20 sit ups, 20 jumping jacks and 20 leg ups into my morning routine. After coffee of course! My goal is to loose 75 lbs throughout the year of 2011.
  2. While still on the truck, I am going to kneel next to my Master more while He drives. It will help establish my submission even when He is driving… Since He is always driving!
  3. Through small steps, I am going to change the way I view service. I want to broaden the sense of the word to include mundane house hold chores. Such as getting His Pepsi, cleaning His boots and rubbing His back.
  4. This one ties in with number 3 but like I said specific. I want to start giving Master a back massage, on my own with no command or order from Him, at least three times a week.
  5. I’m going to try to let Him be in control. I won’t fight or pull away when He grazes my nipples in public in a very public manner. After all I am His slut, to use as He sees fit. Not how I see fit.
  6. After my morning ritual (on the truck) is complete and we are going down the Highway, I am going to meditate for 20 minutes every morning… No exceptions! I’m hoping this will also help me with my submission/control problems in 2011.
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Quotes that hit home!

Since I don’t have a whole heck of a lot to write about today, I figured I would give a journal prompt from submissive guide a try.

“Do not be like servants who serve their masters expecting to receive a reward; be rather like servants who serve their masters unconditionally with no thought of reward” – Antigonus of Sokho

It’s a bit comical that upon first opening the pages to the prompts, this is the one that my eye went to first. All day I have been asking Master some rather difficult questions. (which I won’t be sharing :p) And somehow after answering them this subject came up. For those of you who don’t read my blog regularly, I have a slight problem in this area. Many a post has been on this very thing… Ok, so maybe more than just a slight problem. Huge actually.

For the longest time I have been of the mindset, “If I get nothing out of it, why bother?” I know, not very becoming in a slave. But in my defense this mindset started even before I knew about S/m. (Yush, I can has a defense. It’s my blog you poops!) Sadly, it was carried over to my dynamic with Master. Its part of the reason I’m so rebellious towards Him. With out correction, discipline or punishment (in that order) I will continue down a destructive path A) because I can get away with it and B) to test how far I can take it, then try 2 more steps.

So not only do I do things for a reward, like the words “good girl” uttered out of His wonderful mouth *Swoons*, but I also do things for a punishment… Its my nature. That’s also why I need a persistent, heavy-handed, strong-willed Dominate. With out the constant reminder via actions of my place and His will I don’t think I’m worth any of the feelings He has given me. I will lose the already flimsy control of my bratty snippy rebellion.

I would love to one day be able to give my Master a massage (not the dirty kind you pervs!!) without thinking in the back of my head, “If I do this too good He will not want to do anything play related anymore”. I know its selfish but I don’t know how to undo what made me think that way in the first place.

Maybe this should be one of my resolutions for the New Year… I really do want to be better at this!